Another Year Over

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Mine? Well, it was magic, you see. Everything worked out! Really. It wasn't 100% what I wanted but it was an 8/10 and honestly, I'll take it. I got a pretty banging candy basket, for one. And two, watching Jeff play with Cocoa was hilarious. She loves him.

Looking back on this year, it's a lot to take in. So much has happened. Up and down. But here I find myself, two days from the New Year, not having any major regrets. I can't remember the last time I thought that. Sure, I might change a thing here or there but nothing life changing.

I grew this year. Learned this year. And loved this year. First, I'll start with love. Of course I was in love before. It's not that I wasn't. I just wasn't loving with all of the faith and abandon one dreams of when they are a little girl. I promised myself this year, I would never settle for a love anything less than what my mother and step father had. What no movie, book, or song tell you is how much work really goes into a good relationship. But it is sooo worth it. Below are my favorite pictures of them.

I learned a lot this year, too. I learned I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I mean, hey, I'm still here. I learned that I have waaay more control over my emotions and actions than I would like to pretend. I haven't yet learned how to fully apply this knowledge, lol. Practice makes perfect, right? And I learned that honesty really is the best policy. No matter what happens or how bad things get, if you are honest, you can hold onto that and know you did all you could.

As for growing, well, I think that explains itself. You can't go through what I've gone through and come out the other side still willing to love, and learn, and live with hope unless you grow. I haven't moved on yet. I haven't forgotten it or accepted it or even to a point where I understand it yet but... I have grown. For I know now, that life whether you like or not, does go on. And so will I, in a New Year, with new friends, new goals, new hopes, and better confidence in myself. I hope and wish all the same for you and yours.

Happy New Year all and God bless.

Day Ten: Oatmeal Chocoalte Chip Cookies

Hooray!! I didn't think I would make it to the end of this project. I usually quit things halfway through. I'm proud. And tired of baking. And my body is probably worse for the wear but it was nice. I woke up this morning early and finished my shopping and wrapping. I made my breakfast casserole to take to the boy's mom's tomorrow. I even did a load of laundry and I'm blogging. I love the fullness of the day. It's keeping me calm.

I always remember this day being calm during my childhood. We would snack all day on goodies and watch Christmas movies. And every year after we returned home from our car trip tradition, we would watch Dr. Suess' How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I love it dearly and I can recite every word. :) And no, I haven't seen the Jim Carrey version and probably never will. I recorded it this year on my dvr and plan to watch it tonight before bed. It always bittersweet now. Maybe when I have kids of my own, the joy would return in spades.

However, since I am so busy, eating a real meal until Christmas Eve dinner tonight is not likely. Luckily last night I made some seriously delicious and what I tell myself is nutritious, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies. I loaded one batch up with Ghiradelli White Chocolate chips, dried Cranberries, and pecans. The other batch I threw in Ghiradelli Milk Chocolate chips, Dried Cherries, and walnuts. They could not have been better. The cinnamon with the chocolate does something amazing and you can even taste the salt which is fabulous! The oustides are crispy and the inside is so so soft.

I think they are my best cookie this year. Enjoy everyone and have a Merry Christmas!

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

NOTES:

1. Once I started making these I noticed I only had 1/2 cup of brown sugar in the house. I substituted regular granulated white sugar and it turned out just fine.
2. I didn't follow the baking time exactly. I pulled them out when the edges looked a light brown color and the centers looked a bit wet.

Day 9: Christmas Morning Casserole

Breakfast is far and away my favorite meal of the day. In my house weekdays were cereal and toast. All kinds of toast. With melted butter, sweet cinnamon sugar, or my favortie, creamy peanut butter. Always with hot tea. The weekends were eggs and sausage and oatmeal and all the jazzy things you go to Bob Evans for. At least at home you can avoid all the old people. (Take a look around sometime. It's creepy.) Sometimes, we would even have breakfast for dinner. I didn't know there was such a thing as ready to go pancake mix until I was at least fifteen. Mom always made them from scratch.

But now older and somewhat wiser, I always look for ways to cut corners to have more than just toast or cereal on a regular basis. A great way to do this is make a breakfast casserole. There are hundreds of variations on these things but as long as you follow the steps of the recipe, you can add anything you like. However, as it comes below was the house favorite. And just in case savory doesn't make the cut on your holiday morning I've included a sweet one, too. I've made it many times on the fly using raspberries more often than blueberries. I thought they would make nice additions to the holiday recipe list as a last minute idea that you can make Christmas Eve and pop in the oven on Christmas morning. No hassle. Just King/Queen of Christmas Delight and Deliciousness.

And really, it should sit over night if possible. It does this wonderful thing to the flavors and texture. Serve it with something hot to drink and maybe a nice fruit salad to keep up appearances that you are "watching my figure". Happy Christmas Eve all.

 Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Casserole

Blueberry Cream Cheese Freach Toast Casserole

My Ghosts of Christmases Past... With a Recipe Thrown In

Hi guys! Sorry, I didn't post yesterday. The day started out innocently enough but soon began a free fall into unhappiness. First, my friend time got cut out. No big deal, really. I was just so looking forward to it. Second, my furnace went all psycho on me. I had to have a repair man come fix it. I paid $200 for a $5 part and his time. (Grrr!!)  And once I finally got warm again, I got sick. By 3 PM, I was starting to feel like death warmed over. (We will take yesterday as a blessing, Adrienne!)

To top it all off, I'm just not looking forward to Christmas yet and it's less than 72 hours away. I haven't bought a single gift. I don't even know if I have any plans yet! And what sucks is that 99% of it seems totally out of my hands. I don't know what make me more sad. Not having plans yet OR me just wishing Christmas were already over. And with that bah hum-bug sentiment... how did I rope myself into this festive baking project, anyways???

All it's been doing is reminding me of mom and dad and holidays past and all the things I no longer have and that I'm missing out on. Christmas dinners, excitement, a family! Ughhhh!! I honestly feel like a crazy person. I needed and still need a break and to relax. So, today I made two easy recipes to catch up for missing yesterday and to keep my sanity in tack.

The first one is Peppermint Bark. One of my favorite things. I could eat it all year and probably will now that I know how simple it is to make. The second is something my mother used to make just whenever we needed a snack around the house and they are called Haystacks. They are a super easy, candy-like treat that even a 10 year old could whip up mostly on their own. 

I only have one note and it's regarding the Haystacks so I'll just put it here. Instead of using Butterscotch chips, you can substitute Chocolate chips. Also, I left out the nuts. I just used a tiny bit more noodles in their place. Now I can go back to my bed and to Netflix and pretend like Christmas isn't happening for another 3 days! Or... at least I can try. I have a special post tomorrow! :)


Peppermint Bark

Haystacks

Day 6: Snickerdoodles

Well, I took a day off yesterday because when I sat down and began to blog I realized a was a day ahead. Which was perfect because I needed a day to just chill. I've been doing this whole baking thing to put me into the holiday spirit but it hasn't really worked quite yet. Not the way I had hoped and everything was kind of building up and yesterday it finally happened... I had my breakdown about Christmas.

Don't feel bad. It was inevitable. I'd been shoving it to the back of my mind, baking away my pain, and going into numb mode for as long as I could. Everything started out fine yesterday unitl I started watching Home Alone 2, and then thinking of dad (he LOVED this movie), and then thinking of mom and I just couldn't take it anymore. I just needed to cry it out, proclaim how "really unfair" this all is, and have a pity party.

I emerged from it thankfully because of having a great, easy, breezy, unexpected conversation with a friend on facebook chat last night. (And a glass of booze) It was a friendship I had let slip away for many years after mom and dad had passed because everything reminded me of them. And it's one that's been hard to rebuild. But last night, it just seemed... right. I've missed it and I've needed it. It's funny the blame you place on other people until you start hearing the same complaints from other people and you finally begin to think... maybe it's me.

This is true of me and  A LOT of things but, mostly people. I rarely make new friendships. Despite writing a blog... I'm pretty clammed up to new things, experiences, and people. But over the past week I have made a new friend. At least I hope. And what's better is I think we've had some similar experiences. Which, while everyone I know is sympathetic to what I've been through, they don't have the same perspective. I think I've been needing that for awhile.

So, Saturday, I sucked up my nerves and made dinner and a brand new cookie I've never made before and headed on over to my new friend's house. She is a new mommy with a delightfully helpful husband whom I went to school with. (Caiti, is it who, whom? I think you would know, lol) I brought over some games with the intention to just play them and break the ice but instead we talked. About a lot of things. And it was great. In fact, I'm seeing her again on Tuesday. Do you think I'd look fat in my new sweater? LOL (I always akin making new friends to being set up on a blind date.)


Anywho, this new friend opportunity gave me the one last recipe I couldn't hone in on for my baking project. Snickerdoodles! Say it again because its funny and you know. I have never had them before let alone made them but I do know that my real father, Ron, loved them. And so does my new friend's husband so I attempted them and BOY... oh... am I glad I did!!! They are like... the best sugar cookies ever!! But with Cinnamon. And to boot? They are so easy... I didn't have to change anything about the recipe at all. You can bet these will be my go to anytime cookies when I need something sweet.

Snickerdoodles

NOTES:

1. I did the Cream of Tartar variation located in the back story of Snickerdoodles because I was curious. It was easy to do. I had trouble finding Cream of Tartar but now worries, it's in the SPICE section. Not leavening. I get it now.
2. I didn't use parchment paper on my pans. Just grease, butter, or spray them.
3. The first batch I backed too long at nine mintues. The second-fourth, I reduced the bake time by two minute and they came out perfect. Oven times will vary. You do not want these cookies to brown. I also found you want to remove them from the cookie sheet almost immediately. This should not be a problem
4.The last batch, spread really thin on the pan and were not even salvageable. I suggest you refrigerate your dough in between batches.